Stories of Wil

Wil Taylor is pictured with his “Connect” crew friends, Nathan and Libbey. Photo courtesy of Christie Taylor

submitted by Christie Taylor

Wil is a 13-year-old boy with Down syndrome. He is the little brother, by 20 months, to twin sisters Katherine and Elizabeth. Wil’s mom, Christie, knew very little about Down syndrome when Wil was diagnosed shortly after his birth, but it didn’t take long for her to realize how enriching life with Down syndrome is. Embracing this newfound life, Christie was compelled to share her experiences with Wil. Her desire, in sharing these stories, is to promote an awareness, understanding, and appreciation of the amazing capabilities of individuals with Down syndrome.

Manchester Community Schools has a program called Connect. This program links typically developing students with students with special needs. Wil, who is in 7th grade and has Down syndrome, has been linked with two high school students, Nathan and Libbey.

Wil looks forward to his time with Nathan and Libbey. They visit him during his Independent Life Skills class and work with him on projects, crafts and cooking. It’s been an enriching experience for Wil to work with his Connect friends. On days when Wil is feeling unmotivated, his teachers will remind him he is seeing Nathan and Libbey, and that will–on most days–perk him up.

Being in 7th grade is an interesting time for most students. Their bodies are changing, their hormones are firing, and their independence is sought. Wil is no different. His assertion for independence has him taking a few liberties with his Connect friends. He may pick up one of their spoons and throw it on the floor. Or give them a hug then mess up their hair. He’s pushing boundaries, and also looking for attention. If he were a typical student throwing a friend’s spoon on the floor, or messing their hair, he’d get a “Hey, what did you do that for?” However, kids with special needs tend to be given extra latitude. Wil may get a laugh, rather than a reprimand. Or his behavior will go ignored as the kids simply do not know what to say. His typical peers want to be kind and fear upsetting him.

The gap between Wil and his typical peers’ abilities is growing. His typical peers speak and process communication faster. Wil is lost in the sea of back and forth communication. A toss of a spoon, or a mess of the hair draws it to a halt and brings the attention back to him. Wil gets the reaction he was looking for and most friends are kind and say, “Oh that’s just Wil.”

If you decide to have a dialogue with Wil about why this is wrong and not respectful to friends, his attention will wander and before you are done speaking he’ll have tossed your spoon on the floor. If you get upset with Wil, he may cry or shut down. He hears and feels the anger and takes this as an attack on his person rather than a correction of the act. Rather, with a straightforward, “Please do not do that. That’s my spoon, I was eating with it” or “Please do not mess my hair. I don’t like it” he’ll understand. I can’t promise he won’t do it again, but it will come to a halt the more that is said with each instance. Most importantly, he is being treated and respected like a peer.

This is why Wil’s relationship with his sisters, Katherine and Elizabeth, is very beneficial. If he talks with his mouth full, Katherine will say, “Wil, that is gross.” And that will be the end of that. If Wil badgers Elizabeth for attention, she will change gears with the power of distraction—while on a walk, Wil will find every big stick he can and show it to her. Elizabeth will ooooh and ahhhh at first, then growing tired of it, she will switch his attention to racing her in a sprint. In these ways Wil learns boundaries just as naturally as anyone else.

Wil’s Connect friends are learning how to set boundaries with Wil and Wil is learning how to respect their boundaries. The Connect program provides essential life skills–working together with kindness and respect for one another, no matter our similarities and differences, all while having a great time doing just that.

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by Marsha Chartrand

Marsha Johnson Chartrand, a founder, writer, and copy editor with the Manchester Mirror, is a 50-year resident of Manchester. She has a long history of volunteer and community involvement.